Crybaby

In 1993, I stood in line at a cast call for John Waters’ Crybaby.

The audition turned out to be a dance audition and it took place in a punk bar in what is not called Station North, in Baltimore. We had to dance to off meter Chubby Checker songs and most people brought dance partners. Auditions in general are strange, but this was my first one and the long table of casting folks and the leather jacket folks in the darkness made it feel especially exciting. A few weeks I got a call to come in and get sides to read and to learn how to lip sync “Shaboom” by the Chords. I was being considered for either a role as a Drape or as a Wiffle. Waiting for my audition, I met Ricki Lake, who was wearing a prosthetic belly. She had just come from the cafe downstairs where she pretended her water broke. I went into an empty hotel room, with just a boom box and the casting people, and sang my heart out.

I wrapped up high school early and spent my time walking Susan Tyrell’s dog, getting pep talks from Johnny Depp, was invited for tea by Iggy Pop and radiated in the glow of Ricki Lake.

He Said She Said

In 1994, I got a job as a an Atmosphere Actor on a Kevin Bacon/Elizabeth Perkins film, shot in Baltimore. Most of my time was spent listening to other extras talk about gigs they had booked in the past. The one I remember the best was an older guy who got a line as a cop in an episode of Airwolf. Sounded pretty cool. However, my skills as an Atmosphere Actor would not be appreciated for almost a decade.

After my scenes were shot, they kept me on as Nathan Lane’s stand in and later in the Props Department. While we had strict rules about engaging Kevin Bacon, I can be used to connect seven degrees.

Sex in the City S5E6

In 2002, I was selling pretzels in the Farmer’s Market in New York City. The stand is an icon and we often were visited by celebrities. In fact we kept mustard, in case SJP visited (no one else asked for mustard on hard pretzels, but whatever). I was informed that a friend had written me into an episode of the show and would I play the “pretzel boy”. The day of the shoot, I set up in Jackson Square park in the West Village. SJP introduced me to the crew “Everybody, this is the pretzel boy. so when I say, look at the pretzel boy, this is who I mean”. Mostly I spent my day with Heather Graham and Willie Garson, who could not understand if I was a Mennonite or not.

As a bonus, Ricki Lake was walking her new born baby by in a stroller. She saw the shoot, and came in. She acted as a background actor for a few takes, shopping the whole time (since it was all real farmers paid to set up stands). When she had finished her shopping, she waved goodbye and left.